Having a birthday causes most people to celebrate. I use the anniversary of the day i was born to reflect. I spent a great deal of time, thought and energy over the past twelve months trying to extricate myself from some unhealthy relationships. Now that i’ve divested myself from many of the things of which i’ve had cause to complain, its time to move on to healthier pursuits.
Our priest, Father Viet, who incidentally is one of the most insightful persons i’ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know, said in a sermon a few weeks past, that if God is not the number one thing in our lives, then we put ourselves in that primary position. My first thought was to say that i put others first, but that’s just rationalization to cover up the truth that i think i’m better able to assess what’s most important in my world. If God is number one, everything else will take care of itself. Putting God in the focal spot takes trust. It takes courage to let go of control. It also takes humility to admit that we aren’t always the best at determining what’s best for us. It too requires honesty, because, whether we acknowledge it or not, He is in control. He is number one. And, in fact, the world does revolve around Him. It’s my number one goal to accept that and to live in a manner that exhibits that belief and acceptance.
My second goal is to heal the past. Things that happened long before i became into adulthood have been given too much sway over who i am today. That is about to change. Nike had a motto that challenged us to Just Do It. Borrowing on that theme, my second goal is to Let Go of It. That means that i forgive those who’ve hurt me and that i ask forgiveness for all the things i’ve done to hurt other people. It also means that i have to give up the comfort of using the past as an excuse.
My third goal is simple, but it might be the most difficult. This challenge is to accept the love that is given to me, regardless of whether or not i feel worthy of it.
There are so many other places in my life that bear room for improvement, but if i make progress with the three stated above, there’ll be a lot more time and space for bringing other dreams into fruition.