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just say no

We’re all familiar with concerns about identity theft.Most of us have more online usernames and passwords than we can possibly keep up with. I always freeze a bit at yet another request for this identifying information. I can’t even use a favorite food as a secret question, because the answer changes depending on the weather or my mood or even a commercial I’ve seen on television. So, trying to come up with a clever name that says something about me is a challenge. I know when I started identifying myself as my husband’s wife and when I became Alexandria’s, then Bryan’s, and then Nicholas’s mother. I don’t know when I started answering the queries about what I do with my quip of being a perpetual volunteer. I’ve come to view myself as whatever or whomever I’m with wants me to be. When I find myself alone is when I have the most trouble with my response. So, I turned to God and He reminded me who I was before I even conceived of the absurd notion that I could live up to the expectations of others. He made me aware that trying to figure out who I am by asking everyone else was a lesson in futility. I’m no longer going to shy away from my responsibility to be me. I’ve started saying no with the frequency of a two-year-old lately, much to the chagrin of those in my life who are used to me answering in the affirmative. I’m at heart a people-pleaser, and I realized that the promises I’d made to others had become so numerous that I did not have enough time to say “yes” to me, or more accurately, to God. When I consistently tell Him that I’ll get to Him after I do this commitment or finish that project, it’s not a good thing. So, I’m taking a new path. This new endeavor is a metaphorical jump off the edge of a cliff. I’m trusting that I won’t fall fast onto the craggy rocks and violent waves furling themselves against the base below me. I’m hoping that He will take my hand and my heart and give me the words I need to say and others need to hear…even if, especially if, I say something different than what they expect.

 

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One comment on “just say no

  1. I say yes to saying no. Be strong 🙂

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